The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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