FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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