You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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