Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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