I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
