We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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