id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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