Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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