Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
how does that bad decision feel?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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