I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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