So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
