I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
