I want to make a zoo with you.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
