If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Farmville is her only friend.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize