I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
