All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
