Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
