and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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