Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
