Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I see more hoeing in ur future
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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