I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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