i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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