genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
