Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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