just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
