so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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