The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
