3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
