will power is for people who don't want to get laid
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
