So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
