I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Couch. On fire.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
