he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
