question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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