Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize