I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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