i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
