yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
