Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
