Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
