Im at strip club and am horny
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
