Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
