If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
