I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
