Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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