I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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