I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
