As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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