Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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