Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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