I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
