no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
