can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
