well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
