i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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