I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
