We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
