BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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