He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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