Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
