Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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