He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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