Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
