i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize