Midget sex pt 2 tonight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
