You work out of a Hotel?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
