Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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