come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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